Category Archives: Faith


I ain’t got none.

Some background: I’m not sure I’ve ever really, truly, honestly believe that I’ve heard God’s voice speaking to me. I’ve felt pulls, been given words or scripture. But I’m pretty sure I’ve never heard God speak to me. I think I’d remember that.

I’ve always wanted to hear God’s voice. I ask, I listen, I listen more. I hear silence.

For people like me, those who don’t hear God’s voice specifically, having the discernment to know what is from God is extremely important. Because if you’re not hearing God’s voice, you’re looking for other things to point you in the path God has set in front of you. The problem? I’m pretty sure I wasn’t blessed with discernment either.

More background: At Thanksgiving, we found a house. Nope, ours wasn’t on the market (still isn’t), but it was a rehab and we (maybe I) thought it was a great opportunity for us to stay in urban Indianapolis near community, school and work and decrease our housing costs by snagging a “good deal” and keeping our rehab costs low. We made an offer, it was accepted as a back-up offer in case their primary buyers fell through. Well, the back-up offer expired Jan. 31st. Came and went. Nothing.

Until last week, when we got word that the primary buyers backed out because it was taking too long for the bank involved to approve the offer. (The house is moving quickly to foreclosure/short sale status so the mortgage holder has to accept the offer as well as the seller.) They wanted us to submit another offer.

I got this information just 2.5 hours after I had finally told Adam that I just couldn’t keep trying to make us find a cheaper house downtown. I had run out of feasible options. I was letting it go. Trusting that God would truly place us where we belong in his time. I felt through and through like this was from God. God saying “Yep, you’re right. You can’t control this. But I can. Let me.”

I really felt that even though I didn’t hear God’s *voice* that he was speaking clearly to me.

And then we made our offer, and the expiration of the offer came and went. A quick email from the seller’s agent to ours, but no legal counter. No further contact. Nothing.

Enter: my quick doubting that what I actually heard was from God. That I had heard something that wasn’t correct. That discernment, again, was not my forte.

Man, am I quick to doubt God. In a matter of 6 days, I went from one end of the spectrum to the other. Because of one incident. Great trust there Kate. Keep it up. God loves it when you doubt him like that.

Here’s the thing: tonight, the seller’s agent contacted ours and she said we’d have a counter within 24 hours. That it’s just taking longer to get signatures from the sellers. 24 hours.

So here I am, praying for peace in this time of unknown. Praying for discernment to know if what I’m hearing is truth or lies. Praying that God guides me as he has promised he will.

Praying. Because trying to control the situation isn’t working any better. And I know that God’s plan for me is perfect. And hopefully I’ll get a glimpse of what his plan is by praying. And listening. And discerning.

That’s not fair.

A little mommy rant time please: If my kids tell me something isn’t “fair” one more time I’m going to explode.

My girls say “That’s not fair” so often that little two-year-old Lucas routinely crosses his arms and says “Not fair” when he doesn’t get his way. TWO. The kid’s TWO.

This really started about a year ago. I don’t know what happened, but the girls (who are now 10 and 6) just started focusing on every single thing and started comparing EVERYTHING. “She got more juice than me.” “I didn’t make that mess, why do I have to clean it up?” “Her piece of candy is bigger than mine.” “I had to clear the table yesterday. She should have to do it today.” “THAT’S NOT FAIR.”

I used to respond with “Well, kiddo, life isn’t fair.” Think that response was working? Take a wild guess.

I was seriously about to lose it, guys. (Ok, maybe I did lose it.)

Guess what I responded with in one of my fits of “that’s not fair” rage. (Nope, it wasn’t “no shit.”) My slightly loud response was: “Is it fair that Jesus died on a cross for you?”

Oh snap. Silence.

See, in our house, we love Jesus. (Stick with me my unbelieving friends, I’m not trying to convert you.) I try to use this love in my parenting methods, often by using Jesus and his actions as an example of how we should live, cuz let’s be honest, I am definitely *not* Jesus, making plenty of horrible choices each and every day.

So the girls weren’t surprised by Jesus being brought into the situation – they were used to that. But they were surprised by how quickly our little tiff about what wasn’t fair turned quite serious.

I didn’t mean to say it out loud. I hadn’t ever planned on using this specific Jesus example in such a context. Jesus dying on a cross is a BIG deal. Like, HUGE.

But you know what? It worked. It put the “that’s not fair” situation into a LIFE context. Into perspective. Yes, you did get 1/16 of an inch less juice than your sister, but really, does is matter? Because there are bigger things in life that DO matter. And there are bigger injustices in the world than you not getting the exact same about of juice as your sister.

I’m not saying that spewing “Is it fair that Jesus died on a cross for you?” is the best route (especially if you’re not a believer or your kid is 2). But to be very clear, I still say it every time one of my girls puts up the “unfair” issue. It puts the issue in perspective. Is this something we need to argue about or is this something we can move on from?

I understand their desire for justice. I want to encourage that desire, but only in the right direction. I don’t want it to become justice *for me* – a selfish justice that is so easily seen in today’s youth. I want my kids to desire justice for the poor, for widows, for orphans, for our neighbors.

I think how we deal with kids in “unfair” situations will completely transform them as they grow. Remember that friends. Let’s guide them in the right direction.


(For some reason when I was thinking of a title for this post, “Get shorty” popped into my head. I have absolutely no idea, I just thought it was funny so I thought I’d share that with you.)


Pass it on.

Thursday night Lucas went to bed with fever.

We were supposed to go camping the next afternoon.

He still had a fever Friday morning – but it went away, and he was running around with no other symptoms, like any other crazy (almost) 2 year old boy. Except he woke up from his nap with a fever of 103.7*.

After consulting with Dr. Facebook and a real live nurse on the phone, we decided to try to go camping anyway. Since he had no other symptom and the fever would go away right after taking meds.

Except I knew I shouldn’t take him. I knew it. I just knew it.

Yet I went along with it because Adam really wanted to go and I honestly felt like I was being stupid for not taking him on this planned trip with friends if his fever went away and it really was nothing.

Except it wasn’t nothing. Lucas was awake half the night with a fever and feeling horribly. He wouldn’t sleep in his “bed” so he slept in my sleeping bag. With me. It sucked. And he woke up with cold sores all over the inside of his lips and he wouldn’t eat or drink hardly anything. He felt horrid.

And so did I. Because I felt it was all my fault.

We packed up and came home Saturday afternoon. Lucas was miserable the entire way home.

And so was I. This “I’m a bad mom” feeling was taking over.

That night, Lucas woke up at 10pm and cried for over 30 minutes – nothing would soothe him. This is when I was totally consumed by the “bad mom” syndrome. “This is all my fault,” I said to Adam. “This never would have happened if I would have kept him home and you and the girls just went camping. This is MY fault.”

Here’s the thing: He probably would have been that sick no matter what. He hadn’t even had a fever for 24 hours by the time we got to the campsite Friday evening – we had no idea what would come next. Camping or not.

I let this false narrative that I was a bad mom take over. I totally succumbed to it. I listened to it and told myself it was true. I was a bad mom.

But it was false. FALSE. The truth? I’m a good mom. I definitely made a decision that I regretted, that I wouldn’t make again. But it didn’t make me a bad mom.

Why do I share this story? Because we all need to remember the truth. The TRUTH that we are good moms who also sometimes make poor decisions.

But God is good, y’all. He speaks truth to us through friends who remind us not to listen to the falsities that are so easy to believe. I am thankful for those friends who reminded me of my truth. *Our* truth.

Pass it on. Don’t let another mom believe a false truth.


linking up with Just Write.


P.S. We actually did have some moments of greatness Saturday morning while hiking through the forest before packing up to come home. Here are a few pics to prove it. 🙂

My boys.


My girls.

First post.

I’ve been blogging for almost four years about my family.  But the past three months have changed me – I’ve transitioned into a mom of THREE.  I’ve gone from financially managing a high school to working five hours a week managing a construction project from my basement.

Now I feel like I need to write about more than just how my kids are growing up.

Like how I realized that I can look at a little sin in my life and think it’s just a little gross.  But when I look at all the little sins put together, it’s nasty.

I realized this while I was cooking ground beef the other night.  My first thought was “Wow, not much grease” – then I got the grease jar out.  My thought quickly changed. 

A little sin = A little gross

A lot of sin = Nasty

The best part?  I can throw that jar away and get a new one – empty and clean.  A fresh start.

Thank God.