Sometimes I just want to complain. I just want to make a simple statement about how hard today has been because sometimes it just helps me to say it out loud and for it to be acknowledged. And when the only people I have to tell that I’m frustrated with how the day is going and that the house is a mess are my kids, their eyes gloss over and they aren’t very sympathetic.
So when I make such a statement on Facebook, it’s really just THAT. A statement. And it isn’t really asking for you to tell me the following things:
- It’s a privilege to be a mom.
- I have four amazing and beautiful kids.
- Caring for those amazing kids is such a blessing and a job in and of itself.
- A messy house is just a messy house.
- Being present with my kids is very important.
- It’s just a stage of life.
- I’ll miss this time of my life when I’m older and when my kids are older.
Because you know what? I ALREADY KNOW ALL OF THAT.
I know that I am seriously blessed with four kids that are healthy and thriving and alive. I know this. I know this because I have witnessed several friends struggle with infertility and lose babies and children all too early in their little lives. Please know that I do not take that lightly and I thank God every single day for my kids.
I know that a messy house is just that. That it really is not that important. But let me tell you that when my house is clean(er), my whole attitude is better and I’m a much better mom and wife. And it enables me to be more present with my kids.
And let me tell you, I sure as hell know that this is a crappy stage of life where things are really hard and will get better as my kids get older. And I know that I’ll look back and miss these “sweet” days where my kids need me and want me and love me so much.
But guess what? SOMETIMES IT STILL SUCKS.
And sometimes I just want to say that out loud.
I know that you are just trying to help and be positive and make me feel better. But honestly, it makes me really irritated with you because it’s like you aren’t validating that my feelings are real and legit.
So when I write on Facebook that my day sucks, comment with “Ugh. Sorry today sucks. Let’s get a drink after the kids go to bed.” Or “Yeah, mine too.” Or “Aren’t days like this just the worst?”
Because most of the time, those are more helpful to my psyche than reminding me how awesome my life is. BECAUSE I ALREADY KNOW THAT.