So I’m feeling a bit crazy these days. Like, that I can’t decide if I’m up or down. Whether I’m grounded or overwhelmed. Whether I’m young or old.
I mean, Isaac will be FIVE MONTHS OLD next week and he gets to start eating cereal! Wasn’t he just born?!
Having this huge range of kids, ranging from an 11 year old middle schooler down to an almost 5 month old who is still getting up 1-2x a night, is kind of crazy. Add in work, making dinner, cleaning and laundry on top of homework and caring for a toddler and infant and sometimes it’s just too much. It’s kind of kicking my butt right now.
I say kind of, because I’m still here, treading water, keeping my head up. I bought new running shoes last week. I haven’t used them yet. I bought chocolate milk, hoping it would push me back into running. It didn’t.
I’m just tired. And frankly, probably a bit lazy.
This roller coaster of life I’m on right now has me going up and down and fast and slow and it’s like I got on the ride and the bar that holds you in won’t release so you can’t get out and so once you think the ride is over and you finally take a breath, it starts right back up again. Like “HA! Not so fast sucker! Stay put! One more ride is in your future!” But then that “one more ride” turns into 80 more rides.
And it’s just Wednesday.
Here’s the thing: I like roller coasters. So while I’m up and down and grounded and overwhelmed and I want to jump off this ride as fast as I can, I try to remind myself that some day I’ll miss this time of my life. And I’ll long for the days when this face is what brightens my grey days.
Drool and all.