I ain’t got none.

Some background: I’m not sure I’ve ever really, truly, honestly believe that I’ve heard God’s voice speaking to me. I’ve felt pulls, been given words or scripture. But I’m pretty sure I’ve never heard God speak to me. I think I’d remember that.

I’ve always wanted to hear God’s voice. I ask, I listen, I listen more. I hear silence.

For people like me, those who don’t hear God’s voice specifically, having the discernment to know what is from God is extremely important. Because if you’re not hearing God’s voice, you’re looking for other things to point you in the path God has set in front of you. The problem? I’m pretty sure I wasn’t blessed with discernment either.

More background: At Thanksgiving, we found a house. Nope, ours wasn’t on the market (still isn’t), but it was a rehab and we (maybe I) thought it was a great opportunity for us to stay in urban Indianapolis near community, school and work and decrease our housing costs by snagging a “good deal” and keeping our rehab costs low. We made an offer, it was accepted as a back-up offer in case their primary buyers fell through. Well, the back-up offer expired Jan. 31st. Came and went. Nothing.

Until last week, when we got word that the primary buyers backed out because it was taking too long for the bank involved to approve the offer. (The house is moving quickly to foreclosure/short sale status so the mortgage holder has to accept the offer as well as the seller.) They wanted us to submit another offer.

I got this information just 2.5 hours after I had finally told Adam that I just couldn’t keep trying to make us find a cheaper house downtown. I had run out of feasible options. I was letting it go. Trusting that God would truly place us where we belong in his time. I felt through and through like this was from God. God saying “Yep, you’re right. You can’t control this. But I can. Let me.”

I really felt that even though I didn’t hear God’s *voice* that he was speaking clearly to me.

And then we made our offer, and the expiration of the offer came and went. A quick email from the seller’s agent to ours, but no legal counter. No further contact. Nothing.

Enter: my quick doubting that what I actually heard was from God. That I had heard something that wasn’t correct. That discernment, again, was not my forte.

Man, am I quick to doubt God. In a matter of 6 days, I went from one end of the spectrum to the other. Because of one incident. Great trust there Kate. Keep it up. God loves it when you doubt him like that.

Here’s the thing: tonight, the seller’s agent contacted ours and she said we’d have a counter within 24 hours. That it’s just taking longer to get signatures from the sellers. 24 hours.

So here I am, praying for peace in this time of unknown. Praying for discernment to know if what I’m hearing is truth or lies. Praying that God guides me as he has promised he will.

Praying. Because trying to control the situation isn’t working any better. And I know that God’s plan for me is perfect. And hopefully I’ll get a glimpse of what his plan is by praying. And listening. And discerning.

3 thoughts on “Discernment.

  1. Jacqueline Wilson (WritRams, Project Purse Club)

    I love this post; thank you for sharing it.

    It’s such a hard thing, trusting God. I have been there through many trials specifically over the past 2-3 years. My messages from God come mainly from that “knowing”– a feeling in the pit of my stomach. I have heard God’s voice CLEARLY in my head a couple of times. One was last year when I wasn’t feeling worthy and he said VERY LOUDLY AND CLEARLY in my head “Have I not given you everything you asked for?”


    I don’t think we all hear God’s voice in the same way. I also don’t think we all I have the same levels of discernment. I think it is a gift that is stronger for some than others (but others have different strong gifts–if that makes sense).

    Keep trusting in God. With our controlling human nature, it’s hard (boy do I know). However, I do know that God has your best interest in hand, even if it doesn’t seem like it at the time and it’s not making sense.

    HUGS! I’ll pray for you and this process!

  2. Pingback: Random thoughts on a Saturday night. | katie(un)scripted

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