Monthly Archives: February 2013

Discernment.

I ain’t got none.

Some background: I’m not sure I’ve ever really, truly, honestly believe that I’ve heard God’s voice speaking to me. I’ve felt pulls, been given words or scripture. But I’m pretty sure I’ve never heard God speak to me. I think I’d remember that.

I’ve always wanted to hear God’s voice. I ask, I listen, I listen more. I hear silence.

For people like me, those who don’t hear God’s voice specifically, having the discernment to know what is from God is extremely important. Because if you’re not hearing God’s voice, you’re looking for other things to point you in the path God has set in front of you. The problem? I’m pretty sure I wasn’t blessed with discernment either.

More background: At Thanksgiving, we found a house. Nope, ours wasn’t on the market (still isn’t), but it was a rehab and we (maybe I) thought it was a great opportunity for us to stay in urban Indianapolis near community, school and work and decrease our housing costs by snagging a “good deal” and keeping our rehab costs low. We made an offer, it was accepted as a back-up offer in case their primary buyers fell through. Well, the back-up offer expired Jan. 31st. Came and went. Nothing.

Until last week, when we got word that the primary buyers backed out because it was taking too long for the bank involved to approve the offer. (The house is moving quickly to foreclosure/short sale status so the mortgage holder has to accept the offer as well as the seller.) They wanted us to submit another offer.

I got this information just 2.5 hours after I had finally told Adam that I just couldn’t keep trying to make us find a cheaper house downtown. I had run out of feasible options. I was letting it go. Trusting that God would truly place us where we belong in his time. I felt through and through like this was from God. God saying “Yep, you’re right. You can’t control this. But I can. Let me.”

I really felt that even though I didn’t hear God’s *voice* that he was speaking clearly to me.

And then we made our offer, and the expiration of the offer came and went. A quick email from the seller’s agent to ours, but no legal counter. No further contact. Nothing.

Enter: my quick doubting that what I actually heard was from God. That I had heard something that wasn’t correct. That discernment, again, was not my forte.

Man, am I quick to doubt God. In a matter of 6 days, I went from one end of the spectrum to the other. Because of one incident. Great trust there Kate. Keep it up. God loves it when you doubt him like that.

Here’s the thing: tonight, the seller’s agent contacted ours and she said we’d have a counter within 24 hours. That it’s just taking longer to get signatures from the sellers. 24 hours.

So here I am, praying for peace in this time of unknown. Praying for discernment to know if what I’m hearing is truth or lies. Praying that God guides me as he has promised he will.

Praying. Because trying to control the situation isn’t working any better. And I know that God’s plan for me is perfect. And hopefully I’ll get a glimpse of what his plan is by praying. And listening. And discerning.

That’s not fair.

A little mommy rant time please: If my kids tell me something isn’t “fair” one more time I’m going to explode.

My girls say “That’s not fair” so often that little two-year-old Lucas routinely crosses his arms and says “Not fair” when he doesn’t get his way. TWO. The kid’s TWO.

This really started about a year ago. I don’t know what happened, but the girls (who are now 10 and 6) just started focusing on every single thing and started comparing EVERYTHING. “She got more juice than me.” “I didn’t make that mess, why do I have to clean it up?” “Her piece of candy is bigger than mine.” “I had to clear the table yesterday. She should have to do it today.” “THAT’S NOT FAIR.”

I used to respond with “Well, kiddo, life isn’t fair.” Think that response was working? Take a wild guess.

I was seriously about to lose it, guys. (Ok, maybe I did lose it.)

Guess what I responded with in one of my fits of “that’s not fair” rage. (Nope, it wasn’t “no shit.”) My slightly loud response was: “Is it fair that Jesus died on a cross for you?”

Oh snap. Silence.

See, in our house, we love Jesus. (Stick with me my unbelieving friends, I’m not trying to convert you.) I try to use this love in my parenting methods, often by using Jesus and his actions as an example of how we should live, cuz let’s be honest, I am definitely *not* Jesus, making plenty of horrible choices each and every day.

So the girls weren’t surprised by Jesus being brought into the situation – they were used to that. But they were surprised by how quickly our little tiff about what wasn’t fair turned quite serious.

I didn’t mean to say it out loud. I hadn’t ever planned on using this specific Jesus example in such a context. Jesus dying on a cross is a BIG deal. Like, HUGE.

But you know what? It worked. It put the “that’s not fair” situation into a LIFE context. Into perspective. Yes, you did get 1/16 of an inch less juice than your sister, but really, does is matter? Because there are bigger things in life that DO matter. And there are bigger injustices in the world than you not getting the exact same about of juice as your sister.

I’m not saying that spewing “Is it fair that Jesus died on a cross for you?” is the best route (especially if you’re not a believer or your kid is 2). But to be very clear, I still say it every time one of my girls puts up the “unfair” issue. It puts the issue in perspective. Is this something we need to argue about or is this something we can move on from?

I understand their desire for justice. I want to encourage that desire, but only in the right direction. I don’t want it to become justice *for me* – a selfish justice that is so easily seen in today’s youth. I want my kids to desire justice for the poor, for widows, for orphans, for our neighbors.

I think how we deal with kids in “unfair” situations will completely transform them as they grow. Remember that friends. Let’s guide them in the right direction.

 

(For some reason when I was thinking of a title for this post, “Get shorty” popped into my head. I have absolutely no idea, I just thought it was funny so I thought I’d share that with you.)