blah

It’s the best word to explain how I’m feeling right now. I don’t know if it’s the rain today or the extra 5 pounds I’ve put on this year (despite exercising more than I have in years) or what, but I’m doubting most of everything about myself right now.

I’m doubting the choices I make daily as a parent.

I’m wondering why I feel like I don’t fit in anywhere anymore.

I’m trying to figure out why I don’t feel like I can commit to a new church, even though I love it.

I don’t understand why I won’t get off my butt and make myself look better.

I’m uncomfortable in most situations right now. This is not like me. I’m normally quite flexible and enjoy being in new places with new people.

I’m not totally content with our (recent) choice to not have any more kids. Yet, I feel totally uneasy about having another.

I’m tired. My house is a mess. And instead of cleaning it I’m writing this instead. Doesn’t make sense to me, yet here I am doing it.

Maybe it’s just a back-to-school transition. I don’t know. But whatever it is, I’m ready for it to be gone.

And cue Lucas to wake up from his nap right when I’m in the middle of doing something.

3 thoughts on “blah

  1. tinlizzy3

    I’ve certainly been there before. Sometimes I think hormones are to blame (much as I hate to admit that). But often there is just no rhyme or reason and it’s frustrating trying to figure out what’s going on.

    I hope you’re feeling more like yourself again soon. Because it’s just no fun to feel blah.

    Reply

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